Me 13st 13lb

Me 13st 13lb
August 2009 very unflattering picture as day 3 of camping...messy hair and no make up but good picture in the respect that I'm not hiding behind somebody or breathing in lol!

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

First Blog - Journey so far :)

So...this is me, almost 27 :/ married for nearly 6 years to the most fabulous man..Matt :) and together we have our son Billy who's 5 in September, he is my absolute life!

I have been dieting for many many years, I was always slim/average build as a child and teenager. The last time I was weighed I was about 15, I was 8st 4lb.

My weight problem began when I left school. Starting work meant I had money available to buy McDonalds, Chinese Takeaways etc etc things that before at my parents house had always been just for special occasions. Plus having been with Matt for a while I got comfortable and no longer felt such pressure to make sure I always looked immaculate as we all do when we first meet the man of our dreams...even at 15 I was pretty sure I was gonna be with this fella for the rest of my life awwwww!! lol

Anyway at 18 I left home having brought a flat with Matt, money as always super tight and being young and not knowing a lot about cooking we always went for cheaper processed foods, anything you can chuck in the oven for 30 mins :) plus at least 2 takeaways a week the weight slowly but surely kept creeping up and up.

We decided to tie the knot and booked our wedding for October 2004 in Mexico, this gave me 18months to slim down, I then attended my first "Fat Club" I wasn't nervous as I stepped on the scales...I don't remember feeling anything at all, I can however remember the feeling in my stomach as I watched the display ticking up...10st, 11st, hmmm ok I think I'm about 11stone maybe a tiny bit more....12st, 13st "STOP" I'm screaming in my head...the scales finally stopped at 14st 8.5lb....I was devastated to say the very least and cried A LOT! Matt came to pick me up and I remember saying to him as I climbed in the van "How much do you think I weigh?" he looked at me and replied "Hmm dunno 14 and 1/2 stone??" I cried again...A LOT!! lol I couldn't believe it, I was in complete denial about how much I weighed and how big I'd got.

I went back the next week, and the week after that but I was hungry constantly. I didn't do particularly well to be honest, I got down to 13st 12lb and that I'm afraid is where my weight stayed. We moved to a bigger house with bigger mortgage repayments and attending a fat club seemed like an unnecessary expenditure...especially when I wasn't losing any weight, so stopped attending the meetings.

12 months flew by and the wedding was upon us, the time came for me to try on my wedding dress....DISASTER is the only word lol it was no way near going to fit and with just 6 weeks until we were jetting off, I don't think with all the will in the world that I could of got into it :( so...a mad dash to find a wedding dress ensued, bigger sized wedding dresses are not as pretty as the smaller sizes...although mine was quite non offensive, it was far from what I'd imagined as a girl growing up :/ Everything about the wedding was beautiful...except for me.

We returned home and straight back to my boring job that I hated, sitting at a desk all day staring at a computer, dealing with shitty customers, I literally lived for my lunch break lol cheese and ham paninis everyday, then a chocolate bar, then crisps, then a bottle of pop...back to the desk then copious cups of hot chocolate from the vending machine day in day out. Matt and I soon had the baby chat and decided that we wanted to start a family, thankfully we were so lucky to fall pregnant almost immediately and on the 2nd January 2005 I was so excited as the pregnancy test came back as positive :) I surprisingly didn't put on a huge amount of weight while carrying Bill only 16lb, which took me up to 15 stone.

On the 11th September 2005 the most beautiful little boy I've ever seen was born by caesarean section, and almost immediately I went back to my pre pregnancy weight of 13st 12lb.

So...we'll fast forward 5 years through depression, job losses, moving house twice, illness, hospital stays to today...Happier then I've ever been, doing a job that I've always wanted to do and that I love, I wake up on a saturday morning before my alarm goes off and can't wait to get there...I'm very lucky! Not only extremely happy with my fantastic job but also with my home life, Matt and I more in love then ever and Bill turning into a handsome, clever little lad.

I made a decision 7 weeks ago, that would change my life and I can honestly say it's been the best 7 weeks for a long long time...I gave up smoking and drinking, (the drinking was more of an acting on medical advice than a lifestyle choice lol) after not smoking for a week I knew I'd gained weight...It was inevitable after raiding the biscuit barrel constantly, trying to get over my cravings...I took myself off to Boots to weigh myself and weighed in at 13st 13lb :( and it was then I made the decision to lose weight...for the last time! I lost 4.5lb in the first week and then Dennie my best friend said that we should go Weight Watchers, we go every sunday and weigh in and so far it's going ok...slow but ok lol I also done something I'd talked about doing for years, I joined the gym! We've never been able to afford it before but now I'm saving over £75 a month on cigarettes, we figured that it would be ok :)

Anyway that's it for my first blog...sorry it's long and a bit boring but if you're gonna come with me on this journey you need to know where we've come from :)

Just want to thank my Matt and Bill for loving me just how I am.

Also to Vicky and Dennie for all their support through everything lol, and of course everyone at work, love you all implicitly and unconditionally.

No comments:

Post a Comment