9.5 Points OVER!!!!

Holy macaroon, been to Vic's and had a lovely night with some lovely girls...watched Embarrassing Bodies, t'was the highlight for me hahaaaaaaaaa I bloody love that program! So...had a drink...1st in over 2 months, and drunk wine, I don't even like wine but this one mixed with a bit of Sprite Zero just tasted like juice! Will be getting another bottle tomorrow to drink while getting ready for sure! x

Vic had brought some of the most delicious snacks!!! Tortillas and profiteroles hmmmmm didn't deny myself anything just resisted having a massive munch really, came home and added up my points for today...holy fucking fuck 9.5 points over!!! Shouldn't really affect any weight loss as I've loads of activity points and saved points but just shocked...as now only got 6 points left from my saved points!

Out again tomorrow too, off to Rochester :) most excited!! Could really do with something new to wear but i'm so fuckin skint it'll have to be something out the wardrobe :( wonder how many points in a Jagerbomb???? Hmmm will enquire at meeting on Sunday lol! Anyway gotta go bed, up at crack of dawn to go work :) :)

Peace out fuckers xx

**Oh forgot to say...had a sneaky peek on Vicky's official WW scales lol according to those I'm in for a 3lb loss WOOP WOOP!! Will let you know how the official WI goes on sunday :) well I say you..I don't think anybody looks at this but will do it anyway! xx**

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

I go off to the gym...bit reluctant tonight if i'm honest but I drag myself off, pissing down heavens hard with rain, I run (I use the word run loosely :P) into the "Ladies Room" and...it's empty!! I don't mean no ladies I mean no machines, my heart starts to pound double hard just at the thought of having to go down into the unisex room, it's bad enough the girls having to look at my arse when I'm bouncing around on the Cross Trainery wotsit majig let alone the poor unsuspecting fellas down there!

Anyway I trotted down the stairs and aimlessly titted around with my phone while trying to suss out what exactly I was gonna do, catching a sneeky peek in between "texting" lol. No hook for my jacket it's all lockers and I'd said no to a token (as always) when the reception lady asked me :/ one of the little instructor dudes came out and said hello and I quickly asked him when the girls room is going to back open "NEVER" was his reply :O

I knew when I signed up that a new gym was being built but was given the impression the old part would also be staying :( after a little moan he gave me a token and I chucked my jacket into a locker and took the key (key??? Where the fuck are you supposed to put a key?!) I put on my brave face and climbed up on the machine and done my 500 calories. Do you know what, this is so strange...it was dead easy, no idea why, identical machines to the ones upstairs...same resistance, same incline, same everything and yet I busted out 35mins and 330 cals without half of the effort that I normally would!?!? Have I got fit over night?!?!!?

For fear of being a boring bitch I'm gonna shut up about the gym and ww for a mo and talk about my letter I got today :D from my consultant at the hospital, been refered to another consultant...looks like the best possible scenario might happen for a bloody change!! I'm gonna be having another ERCP not nice but better than open surgery that I was worried about, so some good news for a change! Won't be getting too excited until i've had my appointment back in clinic on the 13th of next month, only 2.5weeks til I learn exactly what's wrong...hopefully! lol.

Right dudes i'm out of here cos i'm not feeling too good, come over all strange again :( I think that's what you might call jinxing yourself!

Love Love xx

Just a quick one :)

Should be changing bedsheets...instead I find myself sitting on the sofa, examining my fake tan streaks and watching Jeremy Kyle!! I'm hungry today...I had some frosties for breakfast, the Skimmed Milk being grey still confuses and concerns me slightly lol! Got a loaf of Nimble out of the freezer, think I'm gonna have soft boiled egg on toast...AGAIN lol I must admit that's a favourite of mine :) not entirely sure what's for dinner tonight, not got anything planned...living life on the edge hahaha! A big WW rule is to plan ahead so you don't come to 5 o'clock and think shiiiiitttttt Matt's home soon and I've not done dinner and end up chucking something pointalicious in the oven. I think I must be due my period cos I seriously can not stop thinking about food...and my boobs are killin :(

On the plus side I have walked a mile to drop Bill at nursery and a mile home, and have to leave to go and get him in a while so that will be another 2 miles for me :) managed to burn 550 calories in the gym last night and off there again tonight, only aiming for 500 cals as my knee is giving me one up today :'( can't wait for my tattoo to heal so I can go swimming. Although to be honest not excited about being seen in a cossie!

Off out the weekend with Vicky, Dennie, Nina and the other fabulous girls, can't decide whether to have a drink or not?? Celebrating almost 8 weeks of sobriety (hahahaha) I dunno...will see how it goes, if I have a drink I'm definitely more disciplined now than ever before so won't be getting completely wankered like I used to! lol. Also quite excited as not seen the other girls for a while and Saturday is probably the last time I'll see the majority of them until we hit Butlins for Carrie's hen weekend...for those of you that don't know that's when I'm aiming to be at target!!! 25th June!! To be honest...I don't think i'm gonna make it, I've only lost 0.5lb in a fortnight, so unless I lose 6.5lb this week I'm miles off target, and the chances of that happening...slim to none lol!!

Anyhooo i've gotta shift this fat arse of mine and get going to get Bill, must have a wee before I leave...trying to drink loads of water (helps apparently) but OMG toilet every 5 bloody minutes!!

Muchas Loveage xxxx

Weigh In's so far

1st Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 21st February 2010 *13st 8.5lbs* 4.5lb loss

2nd Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 28th February 2010 *13st 6.5lbs* 2lb loss

3rd Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 7th March 2010 *13st 3.5lbs* 3lb loss

4th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 14th March 2010 *13st 3lbs* 0.5lb loss...very disappointed

5th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 21st March 2010 *13st 3lb* Stayed the same...even more disappointed!!!

6th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 28th March 2010 *12st 13lb* 4lb loss...really really happy, under 13st for the 1st time in over 6 years :)

7th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 6th April 2010 *12st 9.5lb* 3.5lb loss...OMG I'm stoked!! So excited about this week! xx

8th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 11th April 2010 *12st 10lb* 0.5lb GAIN!!! Shit...is all I have to say about that. Just thinking that it's only 6 days since last weigh in :0/ dunno if that woulda made any difference going tomorrow?? Never mind, hope for better next week x

9th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 19th April 2010 *12st 9.5lb* 0.5lb loss - Wanted and expected more...but it is what it is I suppose :0/ hoping for a better loss next week x

10th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 25th April 2010 *12st 8lb* 1.5lb loss....Got my 2nd Silver 7 tonight and I'm feeling really positive :) x

11th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 2nd May 2010 *12st 8lb* STS - the man said I'd lost 1/2 a lb...but I think he cocked up lol! x

12th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 9th May 2010 *12st 5lb* 3lb loss, very very happy :) xxxxxx

13th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 16th May 2010 *12st 3.5lb* 1.5lb loss - Only 0.5lb to lose until I get my 10% how exciting!?!?!?! x

14th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 23rd May 2010 *12st 3.5lb* STS - Was hoping to get my 10% tonight but it wasn't meant to be...maybe next week eh? x

15th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 30th May 2010 *11st 13.5lb* 4lb off - got my 10% and my 3rd Silver 7 WOOOOOHOOOOO!!! xxx

16th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 7th June 2010 *11st 12.5lb* 1lb off - haven't been to the gym all week due to my "Bronco Bruising" so might explain why it's such a shit loss, hopefully do better next week.

17th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 14th June 2010 *11st 13lb* 0.5lb gain expected more so relatively happy.

18th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 21st June 2010 *11st 10.5lb* 2.5lb loss, happy :D xx

Right been really naughty recently and not updated this, but I'm back and will ensure I keep up with it from now on!!!

19th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 28th June 2010 *Missed WI this week, long story...Matt's fault!!*

20th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 5th July 2010 *11st 9lb* 1.5lb loss, expected a bit more as had a sneaky peek at Boots in Bluewater as I'd missed last weeks and they had me at 11st 7lb and I've been really good :/ oh well it happens I suppose!

21st Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 12th July 2010 *11st 13lb* 4lb GAIN!! Holy fuck :'( gonna be SO SO good this week and get that 4lb off!

22nd Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 22nd July 2010 *11st 6.5lb* 6.5lb loss...WOOOOOHOOOOO!! 10 days since last WI as I've decided to change from a Mon WI to a Thurs WI but still very pleased with the outcome :D

23rd Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 29th July 2010 *11st 6.5lb* STS :( Hopefully have a better week next week

24th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 5th August 2010 *11st 5lb* 1.5lb loss

25th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 12th August 2010 *11st 6lb* 1lb gain :'( need to sort myself out...big time! Becoming a bit of a habit.

26th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 19th August 2010 *11st 4lb* 2lb loss, still need to try harder!!!

27th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 27th August 2010 *11st 4lb* Stayed the same :/

28th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 3rd September 2010 Missed WI

29th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 9th September 2010 *11st 3lb* 1lb loss

30th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 16th September 2010 *11st 2lb* 1lb loss

31st Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 23rd September 2010 *11st* 2lb loss :) oooohhh so close!!!

32nd Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 30th September 2010 *10st 12.5lb* 1.5lb loss...HOORAY!! Under 11 stone for the 1st time in years and years...and years!!!

33rd Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 7th October 2010 *10st 12.5lb* Stayed the same :/ hopefully have a better result next week xx

34th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 21st October 2010 (Was at work last week so missed WI) *10st 11lb* 1.5lb loss, pleased BUT that is 1.5lb in 2 weeks...pretty shit! Back to basics this week! x

35th Weigh in *Missed official WI as at work so these are Boots scales*: 28th October 2010 *10st 10lb* 1lb loss, not bad considering I've been throwing everything in sight down my neck!!

36th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 11th November 2010 *10st 9.5lb* 0.5lb loss

37th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 18th November 2010 *10st 9.5lb* Stayed the same

38th Weigh in at Weight Watchers: 25th November 2010 *10st 8.5lb* 1lb off

First Blog - Journey so far :)

So...this is me, almost 27 :/ married for nearly 6 years to the most fabulous man..Matt :) and together we have our son Billy who's 5 in September, he is my absolute life!

I have been dieting for many many years, I was always slim/average build as a child and teenager. The last time I was weighed I was about 15, I was 8st 4lb.

My weight problem began when I left school. Starting work meant I had money available to buy McDonalds, Chinese Takeaways etc etc things that before at my parents house had always been just for special occasions. Plus having been with Matt for a while I got comfortable and no longer felt such pressure to make sure I always looked immaculate as we all do when we first meet the man of our dreams...even at 15 I was pretty sure I was gonna be with this fella for the rest of my life awwwww!! lol

Anyway at 18 I left home having brought a flat with Matt, money as always super tight and being young and not knowing a lot about cooking we always went for cheaper processed foods, anything you can chuck in the oven for 30 mins :) plus at least 2 takeaways a week the weight slowly but surely kept creeping up and up.

We decided to tie the knot and booked our wedding for October 2004 in Mexico, this gave me 18months to slim down, I then attended my first "Fat Club" I wasn't nervous as I stepped on the scales...I don't remember feeling anything at all, I can however remember the feeling in my stomach as I watched the display ticking up...10st, 11st, hmmm ok I think I'm about 11stone maybe a tiny bit more....12st, 13st "STOP" I'm screaming in my head...the scales finally stopped at 14st 8.5lb....I was devastated to say the very least and cried A LOT! Matt came to pick me up and I remember saying to him as I climbed in the van "How much do you think I weigh?" he looked at me and replied "Hmm dunno 14 and 1/2 stone??" I cried again...A LOT!! lol I couldn't believe it, I was in complete denial about how much I weighed and how big I'd got.

I went back the next week, and the week after that but I was hungry constantly. I didn't do particularly well to be honest, I got down to 13st 12lb and that I'm afraid is where my weight stayed. We moved to a bigger house with bigger mortgage repayments and attending a fat club seemed like an unnecessary expenditure...especially when I wasn't losing any weight, so stopped attending the meetings.

12 months flew by and the wedding was upon us, the time came for me to try on my wedding dress....DISASTER is the only word lol it was no way near going to fit and with just 6 weeks until we were jetting off, I don't think with all the will in the world that I could of got into it :( so...a mad dash to find a wedding dress ensued, bigger sized wedding dresses are not as pretty as the smaller sizes...although mine was quite non offensive, it was far from what I'd imagined as a girl growing up :/ Everything about the wedding was beautiful...except for me.

We returned home and straight back to my boring job that I hated, sitting at a desk all day staring at a computer, dealing with shitty customers, I literally lived for my lunch break lol cheese and ham paninis everyday, then a chocolate bar, then crisps, then a bottle of pop...back to the desk then copious cups of hot chocolate from the vending machine day in day out. Matt and I soon had the baby chat and decided that we wanted to start a family, thankfully we were so lucky to fall pregnant almost immediately and on the 2nd January 2005 I was so excited as the pregnancy test came back as positive :) I surprisingly didn't put on a huge amount of weight while carrying Bill only 16lb, which took me up to 15 stone.

On the 11th September 2005 the most beautiful little boy I've ever seen was born by caesarean section, and almost immediately I went back to my pre pregnancy weight of 13st 12lb.

So...we'll fast forward 5 years through depression, job losses, moving house twice, illness, hospital stays to today...Happier then I've ever been, doing a job that I've always wanted to do and that I love, I wake up on a saturday morning before my alarm goes off and can't wait to get there...I'm very lucky! Not only extremely happy with my fantastic job but also with my home life, Matt and I more in love then ever and Bill turning into a handsome, clever little lad.

I made a decision 7 weeks ago, that would change my life and I can honestly say it's been the best 7 weeks for a long long time...I gave up smoking and drinking, (the drinking was more of an acting on medical advice than a lifestyle choice lol) after not smoking for a week I knew I'd gained weight...It was inevitable after raiding the biscuit barrel constantly, trying to get over my cravings...I took myself off to Boots to weigh myself and weighed in at 13st 13lb :( and it was then I made the decision to lose weight...for the last time! I lost 4.5lb in the first week and then Dennie my best friend said that we should go Weight Watchers, we go every sunday and weigh in and so far it's going ok...slow but ok lol I also done something I'd talked about doing for years, I joined the gym! We've never been able to afford it before but now I'm saving over £75 a month on cigarettes, we figured that it would be ok :)

Anyway that's it for my first blog...sorry it's long and a bit boring but if you're gonna come with me on this journey you need to know where we've come from :)

Just want to thank my Matt and Bill for loving me just how I am.

Also to Vicky and Dennie for all their support through everything lol, and of course everyone at work, love you all implicitly and unconditionally.