Me 13st 13lb

Me 13st 13lb
August 2009 very unflattering picture as day 3 of camping...messy hair and no make up but good picture in the respect that I'm not hiding behind somebody or breathing in lol!

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Bit sad :'(

Mornin' all,

Woke up this morning in a bit of a sad mood really, don't really know why, think it's a few things getting me down at the momento.

Bill starting school in September is scaring the shit out of me, I don't want him to go...but I know he has to.

Being permanently skint is getting me down....we're now only 14 months away from Vegas, I need to get a job desperately but can't bear the thought of having to give up working at the Studio :'( it's sort of like winning the lotto and then realising that you're looking at last weeks ticket and you haven't won at all. I've tried for so long to get into this industry and now it looks like I'm gonna have to walk away...gutted is the only word that keeps popping in my head. I know that it's not going anywhere but it's not as if I'm 18 and have all the time in the world, I have SO much to learn it's unbelievable, and I don't just want to be average I want to be really good at my job and this is not helping.

I'm covered in spots, have no idea WTF that's all about, I've never suffered with spots really, not even when I was younger...had the odd one here and there but my face and chest looks like a teenager boys at the moment. It's only been since I started WW and it's getting worse. Will have to go to the doctors soon I think, hopefully they'll be able to give me something, tried Clearasil and if anything it made it worse!! Will try Freederm maybe, as heard that's good...will have to wait until I have a few more pennies though as not sure spending money on spot creams is the most sensible thing eh?!

I feel like a right selfish bitch today, just thinking how nice it would be if we could all go away together before Bill starts school in September, but never gonna be able to do it as I've had so much...what with Carries Hen Weekend in June and then I'm off to V Festival at the end of August. Don't get me wrong I could pull out, not so much out of the Hen Weekend because it wouldn't be fair on Dennie, but I could sell my V ticket and get a few bob - this is where the selfish bitch comes in cos to be hand on heart honest with you...I don't want to. I know that sounds awful, but I've wanted to go for so long and the line up is actually amazing! Stuck between a rock and a hard place. BUT...if I get a job, maybe we can all have a treat, I'll be able to afford for us all to go away. Just gonna keep looking and see what happens I think.

Postman still hasn't been, I hate that when you're waiting for something and it gets to a certain time and you get that sinking feeling lol he's not coming now I don't think, waiting for a medical card for Bill to finish off the paperwork needed to accept his place he's been offered at his school. Christ knows what happened to the original...not like me (Mrs OCD) to throw anything away...especially something so important, i'll probably find it next week when it's too bloody late! Never mind eh!?

Didn't end up going to Zumba, I decided the other day it would be a great idea to walk to ASDA and back didn't I?? Well my feet...OMG I had a blister the size of an egg...no yolk! (Sorry couldn't resist) so decided Zumba'in wasn't the best thing for them, defo gonna go next Monday though!

Right best go and get job hunting AGAIN lol had a crumpet and a pear for breakfast, resisting the urge to go and have a binge, it would make me feel better for about 5 mins, but then even worse when it comes to WI on sunday lol!

Hope y'all have a good day, and I promise I'll be in a better mood later :)

Lauren xx

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