Me 13st 13lb

Me 13st 13lb
August 2009 very unflattering picture as day 3 of camping...messy hair and no make up but good picture in the respect that I'm not hiding behind somebody or breathing in lol!

Wednesday, 5 May 2010

T'was inevitable

Hi ya's

That's it...I've had enough, don't want to do it anymore! Should of gone to the gym last night but didn't because...??? No reason, no reason at all why I didn't go, no excuse, just couldn't be arsed cos i'm a fat, lazy bitch.

Already I don't want to go tonight either. I don't want to be this fat, I honestly don't. I know that this whole blog seems to be contradictory but I've just had enough now. I'm never gonna be able to eat what I want to eat, I tried having a few pringles last night, I had about 8 in all I think but it just gave me the arse! Not because I was upset I'd eaten them but because I wanted more and I couldn't have them!

Feel like crying this morning, I'm trying really really hard and getting nowhere! And all this "I'm not worried about STS" bullshit!! I am worried...worried I'm gonna be doing this for the rest of my life!

Probably will go to the gym tonight, cos don't think I can take much more of that dirty look Matt gives me when I say I'm not going. Can understand why he gets the shits, it's alot of money....and I know that if we were a bit better off he'd love to go to the gym but we can only afford for one of us to go.

HOWEVER....If i'm staying within my points, which I am...I SHOULD be losing weight regardless of exercise - but I'm not!? Gonna go WI Sunday and unless i've had a big loss, i'm chucking it in, yup just like I always do. Always been a failure, everybody's waiting for me to mess up...Why break the habit of a lifetime?

Just to clarify a big loss to me is 2lb or more, not asking for alot for crying out loud!

Laters x


  1. Bet advice I got last week was you can't be half assed about it and get results. It kicked me into action. Cmon...you can do it.

  2. Yup you're right. Have blogged again, with my new attitude lol hopefully it'll stick around longer than a few weeks this time! Cheers chick xx