That's it...I've had enough, don't want to do it anymore! Should of gone to the gym last night but didn't because...??? No reason, no reason at all why I didn't go, no excuse, just couldn't be arsed cos i'm a fat, lazy bitch.
Already I don't want to go tonight either. I don't want to be this fat, I honestly don't. I know that this whole blog seems to be contradictory but I've just had enough now. I'm never gonna be able to eat what I want to eat, I tried having a few pringles last night, I had about 8 in all I think but it just gave me the arse! Not because I was upset I'd eaten them but because I wanted more and I couldn't have them!
Feel like crying this morning, I'm trying really really hard and getting nowhere! And all this "I'm not worried about STS" bullshit!! I am worried...worried I'm gonna be doing this for the rest of my life!
Probably will go to the gym tonight, cos don't think I can take much more of that dirty look Matt gives me when I say I'm not going. Can understand why he gets the shits, it's alot of money....and I know that if we were a bit better off he'd love to go to the gym but we can only afford for one of us to go.
HOWEVER....If i'm staying within my points, which I am...I SHOULD be losing weight regardless of exercise - but I'm not!? Gonna go WI Sunday and unless i've had a big loss, i'm chucking it in, yup just like I always do. Always been a failure, everybody's waiting for me to mess up...Why break the habit of a lifetime?
Just to clarify a big loss to me is 2lb or more, not asking for alot for crying out loud!