It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life forrrr meeee and I'm feellling good!

Righty o - firstly thank you to everybody that wished my little old Nan better cos it absolutely blimming worked!!! She's still in Intensive Care but is on the mend and even sat up and spoke, she only managed to mutter "Val get me the f*** out of here" lol bless her. So yeah thank you, means so very much that people are so kind :D

Right just had the old Weigh In....FABULOUS NEWS!!!!! 4lb off, gave me my 10% and got me under 12 stone for oh my god..I don't even know the last time I weighed in under 12st!!! I'm so happy. Also got my 3rd Silver 7 (although I've actually lost 27.5lb as lost 4.5lb on my own before I joined) Had a massive, massive blow out last night, have pointed it all and I ended up 10 points over for the week but because it is my WI today it's reset :/ so not sure what to do with that?!

I've really hurt my back, can hardly move today and was nearly in tears walking up Vic's stairs to the flat, stupid drunk me on a Buckin' bronco....I have seriously F'ed myself up! Won't be doing that again! Anyways I'm off to go and put my 10% keyring on my keys...GEEK! lol

Catch you laters potatas :D Loveage xx

Life....

My little Nan is in Intensive Care :'( and it's not looking great for her. I went to see her last night and she looks so sweet and tiny too, just looks like she's sleeping. I came home and I just wanted to eat and came close last night to having a massive binge but managed to stop at 5.5 points worth of crap. I did go for a 2 hour walk to try and clear my head so I might of clocked up some Activity Points to cover it.

Life is so f*cked up sometimes, my Nan is so tough both mentally and physically...I don't get how someone can be fine one minute, then laying in a coma the next?? I know she's not been happy since my Grandad died...who would be when they've lost the love of their life? But I don't want her to go yet :'( can't stand the thought of my Dad's heart being broken again.

Anyway gonna pop back up to the hospital tonight and go to the gym after I think, see how I feel...it might do me good :) not looking forward to weigh in on Sunday but it's gotta be done I suppose.

On a positive note I'm so excited that Vic has joined the gym, we went the other night and OMG I've not laughed like that for so long. Think Vic going too might give me the kick up the bum I need at the mo :)

Will update WI's so far on Sunday xx

Oh ball bags!

As per title really...chuffing bloody ball bags! Went to weigh in and stayed the flippin' same! Tsk! Walked round Margate all day complaining I was cold and I'm burnt to a bleedin' crisp, and I had a racer back on...damn you tan/burn lines!! So yeah not a happy one lol although I am blaming my STS on my period like I said I would :D

I am finding myself wishing my life away, I can not wait for the next weigh in - this needs to stop right now. I dunno how to get over it though?!

Well it's my 27th Birthday on Tuesday :'( and I'm not too sure what I'm gonna be doing...pretty sure it's gonna involve some booze and general rock star behaviour so that's good lol! I'm getting a new tattoo for my bday from Sammy so I'm dead excited! Will post a picture once it's done, not sure when we'll get round to actually doing it cos we're so busy at the moment.

Anyways I'm outta here, got to cook myself something to eat, I'm really hungry and gonna start picking if I don't have something "proper" soon!

Will update in the week, let y'all know what's going on :D

Muchas Loveage xxxx

You'd think I'd learn

Oh dear, over eaten tonight on a HUGE scale. Not just once but twice!! I am bloated and very uncomfortable :(

From now on I am definitely going to be using one of Bill's little plates for my dinners. Absolutely no need for me to eat the way I do I'm just gluttonous, a habit I really do have to change!

I'm not hopeful for this weeks WI, I've stuck to points all week but just have a baaaad feeling about it. I have my TOTM threatening and I am gonna blame it on that if I haven't lost lol! Only need 0.5lb to get my 10% I'll be stoked if I get that. So y'all keep your fingers for me ok?! Cheers :D xx

So, think I'm gonna head off to bed for an early night as I have work tomorrow woohoo!! I had a busy day today, some well dodgy skin and some customers were a bit overbearing :0/ lol, but got there in the end. My first customer of the day was so sweet and made me feel kinda sad. I tattooed a cancer ribbon on her outer wrist and grey shaded it. It was grey for Brain Cancer Awareness, she was saying how she lost her husband to this last year...he was only 46. She has two young sons and I felt so sorry for her...she didn't want or need me to, but she was so lovely I couldn't help but feel sad. She went on to explain that he was in fact her second hubby, the first passed away just 3 weeks after they married, from an undiagnosed heart condition - he was just 31!! So tragic, but she was so happy when she left and although not her first tattoo, she said it was her favourite so far and it clearly meant so much to her so I was happy too :)

Hopefully we'll have some happy stories tomorrow.

So yeah I did say I was off to bed didn't I? lol I go off track so easily!

I'm definitely going now lol Night Night xx

Can't believe I'm going to do this! Hope you're not eating!!

Right here they are, this is me tonight - 23.5lb lighter than when I started. Please excuse my hideous face i'm pulling, think that's a mixture between OMG what the F am I doing? and pure exhaustion!

Tried to do one from behind but lucky for you's the camera batteries ran out...even they'd had enough! Anyway hoping this will be an incentive for me as these are so bad, my thighs especially need a shed load of work!!! Didn't realise how bad they were!

Ohh and loving that random bit of sticky up hair I've got going on...I'm so rock n roll eh?!

Right don't unfollow me lol I promise you won't get another one of these until I'm a stone lighter...hopefully it won't be quite so offensive on the eyes!

Love Love xx

Wow...12st 3.5lb eh?! Who'da funked it??

Back from the gym and waiting for my WW Double Choc Brownie to get to room temperature - Honestly I should get paid for advertising the amount of times I've mentioned these the last fortnight!

Anyway updating my tracker with my activity points and it's now giving me less points for the exercise I've been doing as I weigh less, I'm burning fewer calories...makes sense. I was looking on there and it says "Your current tracked weight is 12st 4lb" (they do whole lb's on the activity tracker) I looked at it and thought..Oh my god am I really 12st 4lb? I actually had to check and there it is...in my little book 12st 3.5lb, massive sense of pride has just washed over me. I am doing really well and I am really, really proud of myself!!

I have still such a long way to go but I don't care, I'm on my way and that's the most important thing eh?!

And I know I've said it before but for all of you that believe in me...Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

And for those of you that are waiting for me to fail....cheers, it's knob heads like you that give me that extra little push :D

Oooooh almost forgot have attached a few more "fat" photos, gonna be brave and get Matt to take my first Bikini picture tonight and if I'm feeling brave I'll add that too. **Shits oneself** lol.

Adios Amigos xx Loz xx

P.S - Look AWFUL in those pictures, we're in Bognor and it's the morning after the night before and I was still drunk and felt like poop!! But still you'll get the idea, and these photos I believe are from 2008 I don't know exactly how much I weighed then...A LOT by the looks of it lol! x

3 points 3 schmoints!!

Well last week I discovered the WW Double Chocolate Brownies, this week I ate copious amounts of them lol! Honestly they have been my saviour, worth every point! Normally I wouldn't have anything as high as 3 points as a treat but these are definitely the exception! ASDA have them on offer at the moment 97p for 2 and I made sure I took full advantage this week buying 4 boxes!

Just home from weigh in and very pleased, I lost 1.5lb :D however I was secretly hoping for 2lb as that would of taken me to 12st 3lb and I would of got my 10% still 1.5lb is not to be sniffed at, and is still a good loss. Hopefully get my 10% and a bit more next week lol!

Don't really know where this week went, seems to have flown by! Not much to report at all, it's been a bit boring to be honest lol. Had a FAB day at work on Saturday, some great customers in, and I was pleased that Trish was so happy with my progress.

Considering changing my weigh in day to Monday, the Monday one is so much closer I can walk there rather than drive. It's the same leader Emma and I really like her so I'd like to stick with one of her groups. That and I think it's a better day for Jana as she likes to chill out on a Sunday evening lol! She'll always pick Dennie up so she should be ok for Mondays too.

Anyhoo gonna get myself off and get drawing, I've been really really naughty recently and I need to draw as I'm getting lazy and also forgetting how to draw things!? Don't know how that's possible but it took me over 20 minutes the other day to draw a rose! Crazy!!

Night peeps, stay awesome :D Loz xxx

200 Golf Balls lost so far!

Hi,

One of the kind people on the WW message board kindly posted this for me and I LOVE it!! I think sometimes we can forget how well we're doing, and it helps if we can relate the amount into everyday objects that you can go and pick up....not that an Elephants willy is an everyday object, nor would you probably want to pick one up....but ya know what I mean ;)

1 pound = a Guinea Pig
2 pounds = a rack of baby back ribs
3 pounds = an average human brain
4 pounds = an ostrich egg
5 pounds = a Chihuahua
6 pounds = a human’s skin
7.5 pounds = an average newborn
8 pounds = a human head
10 pounds= An average Gallon of paint
11 pounds = an average housecat
12 pounds = a Bald Eagle
15 pounds = 10 dozen large eggs (or 120 eggs)
16 pounds = a sperm whale’s brain
20 pounds = a car tyre
22 pounds = 200 golf balls - This is what I've lost so far :)
24 pounds = a 3-gallon tub of super premium ice cream
25 pounds = an average 2 year old
26 pounds = average weight of a Koala Bear
30 pounds = Average Vacuum Cleaner *21st June 2010 and I've now lost 30.5lb!!*
31 pounds = Average amount of manure produced by a horse each day
33 pounds = a cinder block
36 pounds = a mid-size microwave
40 pounds = a 5-gallon bottle of water or an average human leg
44 pounds = an elephant’s heart
50 pounds = a small bale of hay
55 pounds = a 5000 BTU air conditioner
60 pounds = an elephant’s penis (yep, weighs more than his heart!)
65 pounds = Lotus Mk3 – Aluminium Body Shell
68 pounds = 40” Sony Bravia Widescreen TV
70 pounds = an Irish Setter
77 pounds = a gold brick
80 pounds = the World’s Largest Ball of Tape
90 pounds = a newborn calf
100 pounds = a 2 month old horse
110 pounds = Mature Rough Fell Ewe
117 pounds = an average fashion model (and she’s 5’11”)
118 pounds = the complete Encyclopaedia Britannica
120 pounds = amount of trash you throw away in a month
130 pounds = a newborn giraffe
140 pounds = Ricky Hatton (Boxer / May 2009)
144 pounds = an average adult woman (and she’s 5’4”)
150 pounds = the complete Oxford English Dictionary
187 pounds = an average adult man
200 pounds = Vespa Moped
235 pounds = Arnold Schwarzenegger
300 pounds = an average football lineman
400 pounds = a Welsh pony

Gonna print this out and stick it on my fridge...cos I'm a geek like that lol! Dennie popped round yesterday and reckons you can really see I've lost some weight now, so that cheered me up...that and that her Mum thinks I look like Sandra Bullock, can't be bad eh?! I used to get told I looked like loads of different people when I was skinny, Louise Nerding/Rednapp, Martine McCutcheon (sp?) neither of which do I bear the slightest resemblance lol! But Sandra's a new one...I know one thing for sure and that's that I'm looking OLD! :'(

Having a couple of hungry days this week, but hoping bumping up the gym a notch will compensate for any over point days. And they're not over by ridiculous amounts just 1 or 2 here and there. So fingers crossed!!!

Right I best go do some housework, got dinner at my Dads tonight as my Mum is on holiday AGAIN, first time I've been round for dinner since me and my Mum fell out and I'm well looking forward to one of my Dads dinners, they're lush! Though extremely fattening so gonna have some 0 point soup for lunch and then gym it afterwards!

Muchas Loveage, Lauren xxxxxx

Thank F for that!!!! :)

Hey Peoples,

Just back fresh from Weigh In....3lb loss!!! Woop Woop!! Double chuffed and it's pulled me right out of my sulk.

Gonna treat myself to a new vest this week, to go with my Laura Lee's skirt - this is the Laura Lee's skirt I brought about 6 months ago from Ebay that has never fit before. When I first brought it, I couldn't get it past my knees. On Saturday I wore said skirt to work!!!!

Good week for me...eventually lol! Sorry again for being a totally tool the other day.

So so happy, thank you for those of you's that do actually believe in me :)

Love xx

I'm an idiot...don't listen to me

As per title really lol! I am a complete moron sometimes and I make mistakes and idle threats. I'm not going to give up now...I can't, what would the point in that be? It would make me feel better for ohh I dunno 2 weeks while I was stuffing my face with all my favourite things, but after that 2 weeks was up I'd feel like shit.

I....

Wouldn't fit in any of my new clothes

Would of proved everybody right by failing AGAIN! lol

And I would of let Bill down...by being the Fat Mum

That boy is the single most important person in my life. I have to do this to ensure I'm healthy, and happy and that I don't give him these ridiculous "food issues" that my Mum has given to me. Now don't get me wrong I'm not blaming me being fat entirely on my Mother, she didn't force food down my throat lol but there are issues I have now, that I don't think were helped by my Mum's obsessive behaviour regarding food and weight.

Anyyyyhooo so this is basically my apology for acting like a right rocket the other night, got my knickers in a right old twist didn't I?! lol I was in a foul mood....not that you probably noticed :P

Went to the gym tonight, first time this week which is selfish and to be honest I'll be shocked if I have a loss on Sunday. I have stayed within points all week so far, but I have been hungry constantly as I've eaten a lot of shit that's been high points and filling for about 5 minutes.

Right, gonna bid y'all goodnight, got a feeling i'm gonna be up with Bill tonight as we left Jamesy (James is Bill's Orang-utan comfort that he's had for years) at my Sisters house and it's the first night he's not had him since he was about 14 months old! Cripes!

Hopefully no dramas between now and Sunday, but if there are you'll be the first to know :)

Muchas Loveage, Loz xxx

T'was inevitable

Hi ya's

That's it...I've had enough, don't want to do it anymore! Should of gone to the gym last night but didn't because...??? No reason, no reason at all why I didn't go, no excuse, just couldn't be arsed cos i'm a fat, lazy bitch.

Already I don't want to go tonight either. I don't want to be this fat, I honestly don't. I know that this whole blog seems to be contradictory but I've just had enough now. I'm never gonna be able to eat what I want to eat, I tried having a few pringles last night, I had about 8 in all I think but it just gave me the arse! Not because I was upset I'd eaten them but because I wanted more and I couldn't have them!

Feel like crying this morning, I'm trying really really hard and getting nowhere! And all this "I'm not worried about STS" bullshit!! I am worried...worried I'm gonna be doing this for the rest of my life!

Probably will go to the gym tonight, cos don't think I can take much more of that dirty look Matt gives me when I say I'm not going. Can understand why he gets the shits, it's alot of money....and I know that if we were a bit better off he'd love to go to the gym but we can only afford for one of us to go.

HOWEVER....If i'm staying within my points, which I am...I SHOULD be losing weight regardless of exercise - but I'm not!? Gonna go WI Sunday and unless i've had a big loss, i'm chucking it in, yup just like I always do. Always been a failure, everybody's waiting for me to mess up...Why break the habit of a lifetime?

Just to clarify a big loss to me is 2lb or more, not asking for alot for crying out loud!

Laters x

Happy Days :D

Heyyyyyyy,

Hope you've all had a great BH weekend, had my weigh in last night and I've STS the little dude who weighed me said I'd lost 1/2 a lb but when I looked I think he made a mistake :/ never mind...better than a gain eh!?

We decided to go to Greenwich Park today as Matt was off work and it's only 20 minutes drive so thought it'd be nice to go and feed the squirrels and dirty pigeons. The boys popped down the shop and brought some monkey nuts and some peanuts and off we went!

We took the camera and got some gorgeous photos of Bill, and done a fair bit of walking too. We all had a good day, Bill was so cute with the squirrels :D have attached a photo taken today and I love it! I can defo notice a difference in my face shape and Bill is such a little stunner!

Don't really know what i'm gonna do differently this week in order to get a better result weight wise as really thought the last 2 weeks I couldn't get any better! I'm still pointing EVERYTHING that passes my lips, I rarely go over points, unless of course I've specifically earned BP's to allow for it. Might try stepping the gym up another notch and see how things go.

Anyway I'm gonna have an early night I think, all that fresh air has taken it out of me....though saying that a programme I set a reminder for has just come on, The Worlds Fattest Families with Mark Dolan - I love his little documentaries so might have to stay up and watch it lol!

Will update during the week I reckon :)

Ni-Night xxx

I have hips!!!!

Hi Everyone,

Firstly I'm really sorry for my little emotional breakdown about Bill the other night, he seems much better now and hasn't mentioned anything in the last 30 hours or so, I'm hoping that he's forgotten about it for now.

Right WI this evening, looking forward to it - although we all know how messed up our bodies can be, so although I've been super good all week doesn't necessarily mean I'm in for a loss! But would be a nice boost if I have as I've worked really hard in the gym and not gone over points at all :)

Had a bit of a NSV the other night though, I was laying in bed and I was pinching all my inches and and could definitely notice a difference in the amount of flab I have now compared to a few months ago :D not only that but while having a good old prod I prodded something hard...I'VE FOUND MY HIP BONES AGAIN!!!!! I have not been able to feel my actual bones for years! Albeit they're still smothered in a fair few inches of fat, they're definitely in there! So not much of an NSV but still it bloody cheered me up lol!

Had a great day at work yesterday and friday, had some really lovely customers in. Didn't take my camera to work with me so no photos unfortunately...bit gutted really as used some different techniques for colours and they looked really cool, will hopefully be seeing them again though so will grab a pic when they come back :)

Right I'm off, need to get dressed and ready to go out if we decide to do something this afternoon...that's if this poxy rain ever stops, it's getting on my nerves already!

Will update "Weigh In's so far" tonight when I get back from my meeting...keep your fingers crossed for me!!

Muchas Loveage xxx